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Friday, June 21, 2024

Clocking Out – Bike Snob NYC

After I was younger and scrappy my metropolis conveyance was a fixed-gear bicycle that I might safe with a single lock. Now I experience a lavishly-appointed bike replete with leather-based saddle and a number of quick-releases, and so when it comes time to park it for extended durations within the extra populous precincts of this nice metropolis I follow the “Pee-wee Herman” methodology:

Principally, I lock the body with a ü-lock and the wheels and saddle with a few cables, and this makes me appear like I’m getting down to scale some nice escarpment:

Alas, just lately, destiny dealt me a crushing blow once I arrived at my vacation spot solely to search out that one among my cables should have ejected itself throughout my experience, leaving me just one:

This was a tough technique to study the restrictions of the common-or-garden toe strap, and I solely hope whoever discovered the fugitive cable is deserving of it.

After discovering this, I used to be uneasy “under-locking” my bike, however I do generally marvel if I’m being over-cautious. I understand this smacks of “well-known final phrases,” however I’ve a suspicion that professional bike thieves are far much less thinking about “common” bikes and bike components nowadays for the reason that app-based supply business has created such a robust demand for e-bikes (and the motorized scooters folks heedlessly lump in with e-bikes). I imply Inside Version says it’s occurring, so it’s gotta be true:

I’m shocked the thief wasn’t undone by the truth that he rode off with the kickstand deployed:

That first left flip’s a doozy.

By the way in which, because the “journalists” give chase, they provide some unintentionally insightful commentary into automobiles and concrete mobility:

“He can transfer a lot simpler on the bike than we are able to on this Manhattan visitors.”

He can certainly.

Anyway, I’d be mendacity if I stated I really watched the entire video, however based mostly on all the same articles I haven’t learn I do suspect that common bikes are most likely now not as engaging to thieves as they as soon as have been. The supply business has doubtless at all times pushed the bike black market, and the demand for purely pedal-powered bikes in that capability now might be nonexistent. So for those who’re nonetheless stealing common bikes you’re most likely sort of an “artisan” thief feeding a a lot smaller and extra selective market–the Rivendell of motorbike bandits, if you’ll.

Now, by no means am I gloating about any of this. Supply folks work very, very exhausting, and stealing their bikes is about as little as it will get. I’m additionally not suggesting the supply folks themselves are unscrupulous and go looking for out stolen bicycles–not all of us have the luxurious of trying present horses within the mouth. Nevertheless, from a purely survivalist perspective, if my analog bike is safer due to it then all these mopeds within the bike lane is a small value to pay, and as deeply annoying as they are often I stay up for a day once I can park my best bicycle with a single lock with out concern.

Anyway, all my stuff was there once I received again, despite the fact that I used one much less cable.

Oh, I additionally talked about just lately that Portland Design Works despatched me a Metropolis Rover Energy 700 headlight, and I lastly received an opportunity to check it correctly yesterday night:

The stretch of the Hudson River Greenway north of the George Washington Bridge is kind of darkish, however I had all the sunshine I wanted:

I’ve received the sunshine angled fairly far down out of courtesy right here so it’s most likely received much more vary than this picture would counsel. I even have but to cost the sunshine since first mounting it, and I’d think about I’ve run it for possibly three hours to this point on the excessive setting; as you possibly can see from the battery indicator, it’s nonetheless received loads of juice. So in different phrases, to this point, so good.

In different delightfully ironic native bicycle information, Streetsblog studies that the Brooklyn Academy of Music (extra generally referred to as “BAM”) doesn’t need a bike lane:

As they be aware, BAM is (was? is it nonetheless there?) famously the house of one among David Byrne’s extra annoying bike racks:

See, throughout the halcyon days of the New York Metropolis bike growth, the town let David Byrne run amok, and in a match of vainness and metrosexual megalomania he put in quasi-useless bike racks throughout city:

I don’t know why they let him do that. It was like a mass formation psychosis. He would possibly as effectively have put in a bunch of bidets. Right here’s a classic picture of my Scattante (RIP) on the BAM rack, which was poorly-conceived even by Byrne-ian requirements, and which spelled out “micRo liP” for some motive:

Maybe it was to distract from the truth that BAM are TOTAL NAZIS!!!

Simply kidding:

However hey, it’s 2023, everybody you don’t agree with is routinely a Nazi, proper?

Anyway, on reflection, any group that will permit a motorcycle rack this shitty couldn’t presumably care an excessive amount of concerning the individuals who really experience bicycles. So what’s BAM’s reasoning for opposing the bike lane? Is it as a result of it’s not designed by David Byrne, and it doesn’t spell out one thing silly like “mAcro scRotum?” No, their reasoning is as follows:

I imply positive, on the floor it’s hilarious and hypocritical that an establishment embodying Brooklyn at it’s most Brooklyn-y doesn’t need a bike lane. Nevertheless, of their protection they’re additionally making a good level: the town is filled with bike lanes heedlessly plopped by bureaucrats who don’t experience bikes in locations the place they’re certain to be blocked, and it will most likely grow to be one other one. They do it on a regular basis. Like, who thought operating a curbside (!) bike lane proper by an auto restore district would work?

I imply I do know the town’s lengthy recreation is to do away with the auto restore locations and get the builders in there, however nonetheless.

And bear in mind, that is the town that runs its bike lanes by the fucking bus stops:

The bus shelter advert for the private harm legal professional actually says all of it.

So yeah, a fast take a look at G**gle Road View reveals what goes on exterior of BAM:

So BAM will say the bike lane gained’t work and to not do it, the advocates will pillory them, it’ll go in anyway, the advocates will have fun, the bike lane gained’t work, and the advocates will climb again up Mount Calvary and pillory BAM some extra. In the meantime, there are vans in each Road View of this spot for just like the final ten years:

In fact the luxurious high-rise throughout the road is new:

That was once a parking zone:

However paradoxically the high-rise might be bringing far more automobiles than the parking zone did.

Bike lane discourse is filled with anti-bike lane folks giving all types of ridiculous causes for why we shouldn’t have them. On the identical time, we bike folks will typically get behind a proposed bike lane in mob-like trend even it’s a half-baked one, just because we see that strip of inexperienced paint as a victory in itself. Then, when it sucks, we consistently complain about how there are supply vans in it. We want extra bike lanes and a greater bike lane community…but on the identical time generally it looks like these are bike lanes for the sake of motorbike lanes. Elected officers get to examine a field, advocates get to take a victory lap, then it’s again to the combating:

At this level I’m fairly comfortable with my very own laziness. Allow them to kind it out, I’m using both method. It’s extra enjoyable to observe the cartoon than to be a personality in it.

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